FRENCH GUARD: I'm French! ARTHUR: The Castle Arrrggh. FIRST SOLDIER: Oh yes! Lancelot! Many lines were changed, added, eliminated or were said by different characters. ], [Then they pass three KNIGHTS sitting on the ground with one enormous axe through their skulls. FIRST HEAD: Look, stop this bitching. But if he was dying, he wouldnt bother to carve Aargh. Hed just say it. King Arthur. MAN: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you His head smashed in, and his heart cut out, MAN: I'm French. FRENCH GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Arthur chops of both of the Black Knight's legs yet the limbless knight still does not admit defeat. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Opening Scene, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Camelot Song), Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Im Being Repressed, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Bridge of Death), Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Black Knight, Knights of the round table / Camelot song. IMDB: 8.3 Metacritic: 93 Rotten Tomatoes: 97% Monty Python and the Holy Grail Screenplay Edit Buy PG (Parental Guidance Suggested) Year: 1975 91 And impersonate Clark Gable [They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up as a witch.]. BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales. Right. The version I have calls it "The Script Book of Monty Python and the Holy Grail," which I purchased back in 1978 or so. BEDEVERE: (Choking back tears) It hadn't even been milked. They look timorous. BEDEVERE: Wait. The BLACK KNIGHT comes after him kicking.]. The insert shots of the Book of the Film were shot on Gilliams living room floor. He wears a black hood and looks sinister. The hilarious first narrative feature from the Beatles of British comedy troupes, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a wordy, dense and rewarding film to revisiteven if you think youve caught every last gag. Suddenly all the village fall to their knees, touching forelocks etc. The name of the highly influential comedy troupe made up of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin was made up by the group when they were commissioned to make their BBC comedy show Monty Pythons Flying Circus. See you on Thursday. I am in haste. ARTHUR: Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. It looks as though like there's dirty work afoot. LARGE MAN: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. Just pack that ARTHUR: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot, and join our number at the Round Table? A strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.]. online gratuit | Regardez un film en ligne travers les meilleures vidos HD 1080p gratuites sur ordinateur de bureau, ordinateur portable, ordinateur portable, tablette, iPhone, iPad, Mac Pro et plus encore. ARTHUR: Well can we come up and have a look? They are still very fed up.]. Thpppppt! of the rabbit, uh, and uh BEDEVERE: Oh. He pauses and at this moment we hear the howling of wolves. [The BLACK KNIGHT kicks him again and ARTHUR chops his leg off. Find your own bit. To get extras for the wedding scene between Prince Herbert and his bride, the producers simply asked tourists visiting Doune Castle if theyd like to appear in a movie. The other Pythons ended up actually liking the idea, and they eventually made their next movie in 1979 called Monty Pythons Life of Brian, which was about a man named Brian who is mistaken for the Messiah because he was born on the same day in the manger next door to Jesus Christ. I am Arthur, King of the Britons can you tell me who lives in that castle? They turn and go off into the mist.]. The gags about what floats and what doesnt land every time, but the deadpan thoughtfulness on John Cleeses face as he delivers this particularly surreal set-up and punchline are priceless. I must speak with your lord and master. By exploiting the workers! SOLDIER: It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight - ratios A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut. In a series of sketches and animations, the Pythons recount scenes from the Grail legend in which the knights forsake their chorus line can-can dancing in Camelot for a higher aim. That wasn't included in this version of the script, so I didn't add it. [1] The scene in Holy Grail was written by Graham Chapman and John Cleese. ARTHUR: Man. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Monk. squeak]. Source: (Syfy Wire). BEDEVERE: Tell me what do you do with witches? 683K views, 7.6K likes, 951 loves, 500 comments, 5.5K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Monty Python's Fanzone: Monty Python and the Holy Grail - French Taunting| #MontyPython DO NOT e-mail me with things like 'You have the Black Knight scene wrong. The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright.]. Burn her! The rabbit savagely kills Bors, and Tim doesn't spare the I-told-you-sos: In a scene that harkens back to the beginning of the film, King Arthur and the knights reach the Bridge of Death, the bridgekeeper asks three questions before they can pass. FIRST VILLAGER: Well, we did do the nose. And gallantly he chickened out sacred castle! THIRD HEAD: Ooh, lies! night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! I'll bite your legs off! Peasant Well he will be soon, he's very ill. I'm getting better! ARTHUR: No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Run away! This was a solution to the lack of money to spend on horses. This is my trusty servant Patsy. command you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of Commenting on their post, Atillion reveals that they plan to make even more shot-for-shot recreations of the classic comedy in-game, giving fans a reason to check out their work on Reddit. Monty Python : Sacr Graal ! Web. We just catch sight of a MAN falling into a well.]. 1. DENNIS: Ah! I blow my nose at you, An anarcho-syndicalist commune? Pleasant pastoral music. Lancelot! A group of peasants comes into the town square with a woman they claim to be a witch. BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this? He peers down. Monty Python & The Holy Grail (Script) . We're opera mad in Camelot [An awed pause, then ARTHUR rallies them.]. Throw her in the pond. The French Taunter is the main antagonist of the 1975 film Monty Python, and the Holy Grail . KNIGHTS: Run away! He's already got one, you see? They pass rune stones. BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs. Finding Your Holy Grail helps people navigate the post-pandemic reality we now find ourselves in. The best bit, however, comes when Arthur notes that God had a good idea. FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty He is wearing a carpenters apron over his immaculate armour and is finishing off a hen-house. And a MAN tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four NUNS with huge mallets. running about advancing behavior?! King Arthur, still on the hunt for knights to join him, arrives at a town where Sir Bedevere (Terry Jones) is the local knight and expert on science. On the first take of the first shot during the very first day of filming in Glen Coe, Scotland for the Bridge of Death sequence over the Gorge of Eternal Peril, their camera broke. Monty Python and the Holy Grail Sacred-Texts Legends and Sagas Note: this is a transcript of the movie produced by an anonymous fan. SUPERIMPOSE 'England AD 787'. ARTHUR: Now stand aside worthy adversary. FIRST HEAD: (swipes at himself) Take that. MIX THROUGH TO: [A KNIGHT is trotting along through a wooden sun-dapled glade, followed by his trusty PAGE banging the usual half coconuts. The Orlando Sentinel referred to their sketch show as "not only one of the more enduring icons of 1970s British popular culture, but also an important moment in the evolution of television comedy." These red-eyed rabbits were actually Mojang Studio's homage to Monty Python's Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog to begin with. They watch, growing more impressed as they watch the fight. SOLDIER: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? The knights arrive at a castle and ask to see the lord, but are insulted by a French knight (it is not explained why this castle is inhabited by French knights). Another louder, closer howl is heard and GALAHAD stumbles and falls heavily. Next: Minecraft Player's Enormous Shrek Build Takes The Ogre To New Heights. Will you join me? You'll be stone dead in a moment. They are all staring with fascination.]. 2:28. As King Arthur and his knights enter the last stages of their quest, they approach a cave strewn with human skeletons and loose bones. silence. It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the castle of Camelot. MAIDEN: I suppose we're lucky he's only got three heads. Over here BEDEVERE: Well, now, uh, Lancelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms! "It is a silly place.". ARTHUR and PATSY ride into SHOT, slightly nose to the air, they ride through without acknowledging anybody. ARTHUR: (Pointing to the arm on ground) Well, what's that then? [3] The fingers turning the pages belong to Gilliams wife, Maggie Weston, a makeup artist who worked on Flying Circus and would go on to work on some of her husbands films like Brazil and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (for which she earned an Oscar nomination in 1990). While Arthurs knights avert their eyes and praise the lord, the Lord in question gets more and more fed up with their mortal fallibility. # internet # mr # connection # i fart in your general direction. ARTHUR: All of us are we are all Britons. Arthur and Patsy encounter Dennis (Michael Palin), a peasant who is hard at work arranging "filth" with a female peasant companion. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable. Remember all of the best jokes by reading through the best and funniest Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes below. She runs on coffee, and in her spare time, she enjoys reading with her 107-pound dog Nike by her side. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. In the name of God and the glory of our--. HISTORIAN: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. and the enigmatic "Ni!". It's what you both eat. Cleese had the idea for the taunting French soldiers after something he read in a history book about medieval troops whose sole purpose was to taunt opposing enemies before battle. The BLACK KNIGHT keeps his balance with difficulty.]. SONG: [ARTHUR takes his last leg off. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large Bodium) rising out of the mist. If you like it, you've watched it many times (if you don't like it, you may have given up halfway through). Sovereign of all England! Simultaneously a history joke and a boob joke, the hugetracts of land line sneaks in commentary on tactical feudal marriages, aimed to increase a familys capital holdings, into a scene filled with oddball references and an absurd Abbott and Costello routine. ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. I order you to shut up. Forced to scramble to find a place to shoot the movie, the two Terrys secured two privately owned castles to shoot all of castle interiors and most of the exteriors. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. Knights of Camelot. ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Anyway, you've got bad breath. Now knock it of. ARTHUR: I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round Table. People were expecting hijinks from the Pythons, and some audience members even reportedly thought the evacuation was part of the movie. We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. The immortal, intimidating and unflappable Black Knight primarily functions as a great visual gageventually having the mysterious warrior relegated to a particularly aggressive torsobut John Cleeses line deliveries sell it through and through. FIRST SOLDIER: But then of course African swallows are non-migratory. Help, help, I'm being repressed! They stop and look. What a give-away. More shots of the FRENCH SENTRIES peering into the dusk. FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! INSPECTOR: Come on. Thppt! In another doorway an OLD WOMAN is beating a cat against a wall rather like one does with a mat. I bid you welcome to your new home! This is not the way the film was shot. ARTHUR: I am And this my trusty servant, Patsy. The Pythons: Autobiography by the Pythons, 2023 Minute Media - All Rights Reserved. Theres something about the phrase call your door-opening request a silly thing that sticks with you, especially if youve ever had a roommate call you with their arms full from right outside. they're so depressing. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our society! It's like those miserable psalms. SECOND HEAD: It's not my fault. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Nothing puts you in a medieval frame of mind like someone clubbing an elderly man to death as he chants I feel happy, I feel happy., Well, I didnt vote for you. Peasant Woman to King Arthur. 7.8. [It begins to fade. I didn't know we had a king. Additional Sources:Blu-ray special features Ni! He says he's not dead. .. BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science? [Both THIRD and FIRST HEADS turn away slightly, making faces.]. ALL: A witch! PCGamesN. A huge BLACK KNIGHT in black armour, his face totally masked in a visor, is fighting a slightly smaller KNIGHT in green armour. The castle (Eilean Donan) has washing hanging outside it. The main gate of the castle opens a little and the CHIEF TAUNTER's head sticks out, then another Froggie head, then another. CART DRIVER: (Grudgingly) I dunno, Must be a king. As the door creaks open GALAHAD steps quickly inside. A faintly detectable squeaking which is getting louder. OLD WOMAN: Well, how did you become king, then? Let's go. Arthur and Patsy mime riding horses, while Patsy clicks coconuts to create the sound. I seek the bravest and the finest knights in all the world to join me in my court at Camelot ARTHUR: You have proved yourself worthy. Despite the lack of funding, the film would go on to be remembered as one of the best comedies of all time. ], [SUPERIMPOSE CAPTION: A Very Famous Historian.]. of Camelot. Often misremembered as Im not quite dead or Im not dead yet, the old man protesting his placement on the plague cart is a deliciously dark joke done with great sincerity. Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp cracks. One of the Knights who say Ni. Whose castle is this? The PAGES, horselike, take fright for a moment, they whinny and rattle their coconuts. We may never know how those coconuts got up into England, but we surely learned plenty about how many times per second a swallow needs to beat its wings in order to maintain air-speed velocity. The cart passes round a dead donkey or cow in the mud. ROBIN: Look, hurry up six eyes, or I shall cut your head off. They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets. ], [ARTHUR narrows his eyes, wondering whether the BLACK KNIGHT will survive. SECOND HEAD: Well only because you don't brush my teeth THIRD HEAD: Oh! (to the rest) Knights! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. We dine well here in Camelot. ], [CUT BACK TO the fight. https://www.scripts.com/script-excerpt/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931/directed%20by, https://www.scripts.com/script/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931. If you are not prepared to agree to my demands I shall be forced to take Oh Christ! SECOND SOLDIER: Wait a minute! [The BLACK KNIGHT stares impassively and says nothing.]. Riiight back. Jun 16, 2015. Ni will be inescapable. As night falls. BLACK KNIGHT: Running away eh? The last picture mixes through into live action. FIRST SOLDIER: So they wouldn't be able to bring a coconut back anyway. And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. And his penis split and his ROBIN: Er, That's That's enough music for a while, lads. [The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and BEDEVERE regarding each other admiringly.]. 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You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries the dusk sound... N'T brush my teeth THIRD HEAD: Oh other admiringly. ] horses, while clicks...
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