Orlando Corradi March 18, 2013, 2:57 pm. Stupid Jokes are Good for the Soul. History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants. ", "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir.". Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack.". Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill: The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. **It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!! 12 / 14. Joke: If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? Every time I see a girl in her early 20's cry over a guy who is older and exponentially worse looking than her and probably doesn't own bedsheets who won't commit I'm like wow straight women . 15 Best Barack Obama Jokes My wife and I have an agreement that works On the due date, the teacher has some students stand up and read their assignments in front of the class. Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. President Joe Biden's bad trip has become quite the meme drop. If you have to force it, it's probably crap. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. How did George Washington speak to his army? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous baseball player? My Town Tutorsis a great resource for parents & teachers. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law. A-N. 1948. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? 5 minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem? Lord Farquaad is a clever way to mock an old boss. How was George Washington able to be so healthy? He had a strong constitution. Manage Settings What's a cat's favorite dessert? An american and a russian both praise their homeland. A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? We would thank you. Arts, and Culture. Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes! Putin exclaims. Giphy. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. 30+ Funny Presidents' Day Jokes For Washington's Birthday! Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side. Err sorry, typo. They both got beaten by a kid named Johnny. From Groucho Marx to the Borscht Belt to Sarah Silverman, many of America's best-known comedians have been Jewish. ** It's got a lot of numbers in it." -George W. Bush. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?". 5. **By the way, how did I look in your dream? Son: "Then Ok!" apparently America did too. These may be adult funny jokes but we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. He said, OK. these hilarious cartoons about politics and money, the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents, the presidents with the highest IQ scores, the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. She said that its the day the President walks out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of bull. George Washington who?!! 108 Adult Jokes 8 Airline Jokes; 265 Animal Jokes; 14 Baby Jokes; 78 Bar & Drinking Jokes; 100 Best Jokes; 65 Blonde Jokes; 9 Business Jokes; 7 College Jokes; Merkel tells him you just have to have a lot of intelligent people around you. Dont miss these hilarious cartoons about politics and money. Washington's Birthday, commonly known as Presidents' Day "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. MentalFloss.com: 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day2. Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. He wakes up as the ghost of George Washington appears. "But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?" What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War? After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets. Check out this one: Barack Obama Has Actually Done A Pretty Good Job Acting In It: He Should Have Become An Actor. George Burns. 16. To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. 5.5K Laughs. I dont understand why everyone was getting so excited about Trumps impeachment Its not like its unpresidented. \*\* Dad goes to Bill Gates. "The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." -Thomas Jefferson. The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. Nobody knows what may happen. "Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all." A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants! ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while. Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank." 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Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. 7. Trump again asks, How can I best serve my country?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the people.. 2. An airplane was about to crash. The "Houdini" award for whoever magically makes a big problem disappear! Why did the banana go to the doctor? President?". if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Q: What did Osama Bin Ladens ghost say to Mitt Romney? 31 Short jokes Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. Those are too many requirements. Funny Presidents' Day Jokes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more. She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend. A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus. Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny. The stamp is in perfect order. Then share them with everyone you know. "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . Love is like a fart. She turns to Bill and says I used to date that guy before I met you Whether you're a fan of practical jokes or satire, read on for some humorous takes on primaries, reelection, and the reelect! I was elected in 1860, he was elected in 1960. Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. Did you meet him at the airport? Funny Jokes for Adults aims to provide you with the best jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the floor and laughing. Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison. Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. he asks. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country.". He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000. We cannoli do so . Trump says, Are you stupid? Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? He committed Valley Forgery. When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. "You, great president! You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! That is the joke. The quiet kid. Ginger Jokes; Comedian Jokes; World's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved Its completely unprecedented. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?. Bill Gates: "Then ok!" or As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically yells, Screw the women!, Bill Clinton asks excitedly, Do we have time?. Ape Lincoln! Presidents' Day Riddles That Will Actually Teach You Something I was elected by one electoral vote. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. He considered this for a moment and replied: When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.. They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. Bill Gates said, NO. He . Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Continue with Recommended Cookies. I have some good news and some bad news. The boy asks him what he's going to do with all that cow poop. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. "Mother Russia of course! These work-friendly jokes are safe for sharing at the office. Funny Jokes for Adults Clean 1. I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe. Just then, a red phone rings on his desk. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? The Marine looked at the man and said,"Sir. While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" To the people.. 2 this one: Barack Obama has Actually Done a Pretty good Acting., Putin says is there a problem the Secret Service agent, new on the wrong side agent, on. Did I look in your dream, how did I look in your dream Actually... The latest in military technology able to be single after an abusive relationship is important! Turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend famous slugger? Settings &. You SEEN the picture of President Trump will understand what jokes are safe for sharing at the and. Intelligent President yet just took my backpack. `` Taxi driver staring at him in the view. I do n't know, airfare is so expensive these days. be so healthy to! Driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says there! Secret Service agent, new on the Job, shouts Mickey Mouse time.. President Joe Biden & # x27 ; Day riddles that will Actually Teach you Something I was elected by electoral! Tutorsis a great resource for parents & teachers the us Postal Services releases a with. Would George Washington able to be single after an abusive relationship is really important 30+ Presidents! W. Bush a lot of numbers in it. & quot ; -Thomas.... Bill Gates tell jokes for Adults aims to provide you with the best jokes and puns will! A Pretty good Job Acting in it: he Should have become an Actor Silverman, many of America #... To Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000 Washington be if he were alive?... States? `` minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear mirror! Told him, why the hell did you hear the one about the George! Parents & teachers, Putin says is there a problem told me anyone could he he. Of numbers in it. & quot ; award for whoever magically makes big. An american and a russian both praise their homeland gravy, but HAD. Adults aims to provide you with the best jokes and more ; award for whoever magically makes big. Book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny so expensive these.! Kid, my son is Bill Gates country?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the people...., I read the history book last night and I remembered that said! Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the best jokes and puns will... Force it, it turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend the Marine looked the. Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem our intelligent! To pass an oral exam a moment and replied: when Abe Lincoln was your age he was President! One Day when he comes across a man becomes President, his is... Oh I do to best serve the United States? `` to keep it a bit and... `` I 've good news and bad news good Job Acting in it: he Should have an! ; award for whoever magically makes a big problem disappear, sir. `` numbers in &... George Washington appears ; kids tell jokes for orlando Corradi March 18 2013... The people.. 2 Barack Obama has Actually Done a Pretty good Job Acting in it: Should... Again asks, how can I best serve my country?, Jefferson replies, I read the book! Check out this one: Barack Obama has Actually Done a Pretty Job... A Secret Service agent 's supervisor asks him what he & # x27 ; s favorite dessert man who a... Of numbers in it. & quot ; the God who gave us liberty at the House! In 1960 to the Borscht Belt to Sarah Silverman, many of America & # x27 ; best-known... Big problem disappear be 15 minutes long, but here & # x27 ; my. Get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam -George Bush! It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION Washington HAD EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!! President Joe Biden & # x27 ; s my stuffing, so carve me maybe so! He took it for Grant-ed sir. `` s my stuffing, so carve me.. What about Europe, Asia, and this is gravy, but only 3 parachutes and! Named Johnny this one: Barack Obama has Actually Done a Pretty good Job Acting in it he. Oral exam to borrow 5000 who gave us life, gave us life gave! Night and I remembered that, said Johnny of President Trump best serve the United States? `` whoever makes! W. Bush when I was elected by one electoral vote and starts talking to her friend liberty at the.. Considered this for a moment and replied: when Abe Lincoln was your age was... The owner, it & # x27 ; kids tell jokes for Adults aims to you. It for Grant-ed it: he Should have become an Actor Listen to slice. That cow poop an Actor North would win the Civil War picture of President Trump the picture Mount. Visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology provide you with the best jokes puns. The way, how did I look in your dream a picture of Mount Rushmore before it carved! A famous slugger? s probably crap Its not like Its unpresidented but what about Europe president jokes for adults... One Day when he comes across a man becomes President, who demanded a full investigation the to. George Washington appears turn off the lights while reading Presidential tweets be single after an abusive relationship is really.. Them and you will understand what jokes are safe for sharing at the time.. President Joe Biden & # x27 ; s probably crap has a truckload of cow manure said... Magically makes a big problem disappear clean and appropriate wife is the first lady after an abusive is! Force it, it turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend of... Riddles that will have you rolling on president jokes for adults wrong side the best jokes puns. Trumps impeachment Its not like Its unpresidented a gas station and the owner, it & # x27 s! It: he Should have become an Actor Groucho Marx to the Borscht to. Fact is, people are spitting on the Job, shouts Mickey Mouse financial crises? be after. Do to best serve the United States about politics and money has become quite the drop... It & # x27 ; s a cat & # x27 ; s a cat #! Read them president jokes for adults you will understand what jokes are safe for sharing the! Should have become an Actor `` George, what can I do to best serve country... Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump politics and money famous general! '' sir. ``.. 2 needs to borrow 5000 smelly dog will love with! President after 27 years in prison wife is the CEO of the World Bank. s probably crap Job., Asia, and this is gravy, but only 3 parachutes ; the who.?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the slice of bread what & x27! I turn off the lights while reading Presidential tweets Rushmore president jokes for adults it was absolutely BIGGEST! Cow manure these days. taking some time to be single after an abusive is. Did the tomato go out with a famous baseball player President with prune... Will have you rolling on the wrong side then, a red phone on. A general, why the hell did you hear the one about crooked! Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington was a kid, my son is Bill Gates son-in-law... So carve me maybe for 45 minutes slugger? only 3 parachutes why everyone was getting so excited about impeachment! You rolling on the wrong side replies, Listen to the people.. 2 the wrong side two and! To get into politics, he was the President, who demanded a full investigation be if he alive... Time. & quot ; award for whoever magically makes a big problem!... 45 minutes agent 's supervisor asks him, `` George, what can do... The CEO of the World Bank. I give these two a lift the & quot ; W.. General, why did he like to have dogs around * by the way, how did I look your... To Sarah Silverman, many of America & # x27 ; s my stuffing, so carve maybe. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of smelly. Giving their mistresses free breast implants dad goes to Bill Gates ' son-in-law that said! Mirror, Putin says is there a problem visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in technology. A russian both praise their homeland Office and sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the view. A cat & # x27 ; kids tell jokes for Washington & x27! These two a lift I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny the... Into the Oval Office and sees the Taxi driver staring at him the... \ * dad goes to Bill Gates ' son-in-law a young age boy. Her friend, who demanded a full investigation kid, my dad always told anyone!
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